O que é preciso para acabar com a vergonha?

O que é preciso para acabar com a vergonha?

Para acabar com a vergonha, é preciso identificar o que já existe em você.

Semana passada, na Aula 4 do Vida Sem Vergonha, ao me ouvir falando da necessidade de se atentar ao que já é, ao que já existe, uma das alunas comentou: ”Com isso que você fala, tenho medo de virar Pollyana”.

Pollyana é a personagem do livro de Eleanor Porter, escrito no comecinho do século XX. São dois livros, que estavam na estante da sala da minha casa durante a minha infância.

Basicamente, Pollyana é a história de uma menina, que, passando por diversas dificuldades, decidiu olhar o que havia de bom em cada acontecimento. Isso era chamado por ela de “o jogo do contente”.

É normal temer ser chamada de Pollyana, porque, para nós, “ver o lado bom” é apenas um sinal de ingenuidade. E ninguém quer ser visto assim. E, um segredo: por muito tempo eu temi ser vista como uma Pollyana também.

Deixa eu te explicar essa história.

Quando criança, comecei a ler sobre meu signo, Sagitário, e todas as descrições diziam: sagitarianos são os otimistas do zodíaco. Eu passei alguns dias pesquisando a palavra “otimismo” na recém-chegada internet (pensa, década de 90) e, veja só, entendi o que era e comecei a praticar.

Então, eu aprendi a ver “o lado bom das coisas”, eu me habituei a ser otimista. Em cada coisa que acontecia, pensava “como um otimista entenderia isso?” ou “qual a reação de uma pessoa otimista aqui?”. Praticando desde criança, para mim, hoje, é fácil ver o bom e é natural fazer algo de bom com o ruim que acontece.

Assim, por muito tempo, eu temi ser Pollyana. Ou melhor, ingênua. Mas, como eu vejo “o lado bom”, temer ser Pollyana me levou ao MELHOR ponto: enxergar EVIDÊNCIAS. Isso significa que, sempre que penso algo com meus clientes e alunos, utilizo evidências, pego fatos e consequências da vida real.

Se há algo bom, esse bom deve estar à mostra aqui, para todos verem.

Contei tudo isso porque, para perder o medo de se expor, você precisa (sim, você precisa) ver algo minimamente bom em você e no que você oferece. Não adianta saber onde colocar as mãos ou projetar a voz se você é inseguro ou se te falta confiança. Se você não vir nada de bom e interessante em você e no que tem em mãos, haverá travas.

Perguntas para acabar com a vergonha

Acabar com a vergonha

Então, saiba que você precisará buscar evidências para mudar sua interpretação acerca de si mesmo e do que oferece. E tenha certeza que não cabe fazer um “jogo do contente” para procurar o que há de bom num conteúdo mais ou menos. Não é isso. Não é ser complacente consigo.

Mas, sem dúvida alguma, você precisa responder as perguntas:

  • O que há de bom aqui no meu conteúdo?
  • O que eu tenho de útil ou interessante para falar?
  • Como isso pode ajudar alguém?

Responda com base no que você tem de evidências, na vida real. Não enrola, não seja seu pior hater. Seja franco e identifique.

Assim, vai começar a aparecer um lampejo de segurança no seu peito e, ao contrário de temer as críticas, você vai sentir alegria em poder compartilhar tudo o que você sabe.


Se isso é ser Pollyana, pouco me importa.

E você, se importa?

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